Seattle Learning Golf

Well, I have decided to learn to play golf properly under expert supervision. We have paid several visits to the driving range down the road and We have even visited a local course to practise chipping. My success rate of actually hitting the ball is already good. I used to make one almost decent hit in ten but I am now up to about five in ten with certain clubs. For some very peculiar reason I seem to be able to chip better than this. Maybe one day I will graduate to a real golf course.

Up until now I have been somewhat diffident about golf. In a conference I attended many moons ago, we were subjected to a TQM management film where we saw ‘Larry’ waving his clubs in the air boasting that HE is playing golf because “back there, my people are using TQM!!!” Also we have become used to the fact that much business is actually conducted ON the golf course. This could have created the impression in many people’s minds that golf is a game for the professional classes and, in special cases, for the ‘rich and famous’. But even my oldest friend has taken up golf saying, “My only regret is that I didn’t take it up earlier.

My first contact with golf was at Graves Park in Sheffield. We paid a few (old) pence and were given a putter and a thing called a mashie. The mashie, I have since found out, is an ancient club between a modern 5 and 6 iron.

This has been revived recently with the same name.

I’ve just looked up the present fees in Graves Park and found that they are now 2.35 British pounds for an adult and 1.15 for a junior – that’s about US$3.65 for an adult and about US$1.75 for a junior. The Horsenden Hill golf course, which I know from my childhood but never ventured to do anything but walk around it, costs five British Pounds to play 18 holes today – under US$8. Other public golf courses I have looked up still have similar fees. Both the above golf courses are in urban areas; the second in London so it doesn’t look as though golf is an extremely exclusive sport in certain circumstances.

At university, I had friend who was an extremely enthusiastic golfer. He persuaded me to come with him on some golf courses. He kindly gave me an iron with which to hit the ball. I could hit balls a long way, sometimes further than my friend, but I seldom did it in the direction I wanted. To deal with this problem I used to buy a load of balls in the Club House – balls which I have since discovered are probably meant to be used on the driving range.

My friend’s father was a doctor and a passionate golfer who lived in Cemaes Bay, Anglesey. In his youth, he had always dreamed of becoming an actor; an ambition not normally approved of by parents. He also told me that he found his wife by waiting outside ‘Le Cordon Blue’ Cooking School and choosing the nicest looking lady who came out. Having enjoyed her cooking, I can heartily approve of this strategy.

But back to golf. Because he was so interested in drama, he got to know a lot of actors. Because he was a doctor, these actors talked to him about their medical problems especially their heart problems. We have to be sympathetic with the plight of these actors. They lead a life similar to musicians. Although rehearsals can take place during the day, most performances take place in the evenings or sometimes afternoons leaving a lot of daytime free. Some social activities can be rather unhealthy involving sitting around, eating, drinking and so on. One musician told me that, to avoid too much boredom “I get up slowly . . .  I switch the radio on slowly . . . I drink my coffee slowly . . . I shave slowly . . .  I eat breakfast slowly etc. etc. . so, before I know it, it’s afternoon!!!”

Determined to do something about this, he persuaded many of these actors  to take up golf. Not only did this help them with their London jobs and their “resting” periods, it also helped even more when they were on tour in the provinces. All those desperately boring hours walking around town looking into shop windows were replaced by time on the golf course doing healthy exercise which helped their hearts. American actors have always followed this healthy tradition

and Bob Hope’s obsession with the game was well known.

Of course we have heard the definition of golf as “a good walk ruined” but many people seem to enjoy the game so much that they even watch it on television. The startling thing about watching a television broadcast is listening to the extremely learned observations of the commentators who are obviously great golfers or were great golfers themselves. Whenever a player hits a ball off the fairway, they get a real drubbing. Golfers are expected to be perfect. They must get their ball on to the green without getting into a sand trap and you just have to hear that moan from the crowd as the leader misses a putt. But then, it’s good to know that even Tiger is human.

So with all that good stuff, I have been slowly learning about golf . My favourite film is ‘Caddyshack’ so that was a good start.

But I also had to watch films like ‘Tin Cup’,

‘The Legend of Bagger Vance’,

‘The Greatest Game Ever played’ (“Golf is a game played by gentlemen; Not for the likes of you!!!”),

“A Gentleman’s Game”,

“Bobby Jones Stroke of Genius”,

and ‘Happy Gilmore’?.

They convinced me – I think! – that golf was obviously a gentleman’s game but I have yet to see a good golf movie where a golf playing protagonist is a woman unless you count the golf played by Katharine Hepburn herself in ‘Pat and Mike’.

To cut a long story short, I started practising with my friend on a small 9 hole course on an island called Whidbey Island. (The film ‘Practical Magic’ was filmed there).The course is called Island Greens.  I sometimes actually managed to hit the ball. Unfortunately I then spent most of my time looking for the ball I had just hit! But, to my surprise, I didn’t only find my ball, Each time I went searching the hedgerows, I found another ten balls as well as mine. This was great because I could afford to lose a few dozen balls into the water hazard.

My weirdest experience was in Canada in the forests north of Montreal. The “chateau” where we were staying had a golf course nearby. This was far enough away from civilisation for me to dare a try at playing the course. We made our way to the first tee and I was astonished to see a very wide wild river flowing between the tee and the green. I naturally said, “I’ll take a drop’ in as experienced manner as I could muster. I was then interrupted by the Pro who handed me a ball with a red maple leaf on it saying,”Hit this into the water!!”.  So I hit it. To my amazement, the ball flew over the river to land on the green. It then rolled steadily towards the hole and stopped just six inches short of the hole. Strange things can happen. Wow!!!